is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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