The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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