Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
