i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
