So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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