he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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