Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
