I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
