so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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