fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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