Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize