I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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