So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
