Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
