Having a random hookup so left but love u
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
