I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
well most of my day revolves around power hour
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Randomize
