i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I forget how to act sober
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