this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
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