I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
