Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Mom said you looked used
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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