Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize