i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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