my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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