Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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