He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
