I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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