I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
