Pappa wants mamma naked
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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