This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Randomize
