and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
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