When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
