overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
