Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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