he shaved USA in his pubs
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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