Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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