You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
