i jhust puked up my retainher.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
