you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
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