At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
They have beer where we have blood.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
