why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
