I wanna bring you to show and tell
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
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