dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Randomize
