so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
