You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize
