So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize