State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
