There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize