Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
