He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize