i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
