maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
