Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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