I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
