Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
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