im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
