I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
