I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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