After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
