You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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